It took me years to figure out something so simple; Negative thoughts are nothing more than a waste of energy. Instead, I take any and all negative thoughts and feelings, and convert it into positive energy that fuels me through out the day.
I often ask the question of people "How are you today?" The responses vary from "I'm doing well," or "I am doing good," Sometimes they'll ask me the same question, and the response that I give them is the same "I am awesome." I have had people balk at this statement, being so jaded that they cannot believe that such a statement could be honest, I had a customer say to me, "Now that we've lied to each other, how are you really?" I backed up my statement with this reasoning, "Look, I wasted a lot of time being negative and feeling sorry for myself for the mistakes I have made and I realized that it would be a far better use of my energy to just take it and turn into into positive energy that moves me forward, rather than backwards."
This realization came to me from my experiences in taking care with my grandfather, who is stuck in this perpetual cycle of negativity and angst. I saw how his negativity has enveloped him and has plunged him into this train of thought of "No one loves me, they all want to use me," made me decide that as I grow older, I will reject this kind of thinking, and that I spend the rest of my life doing the exact opposite of what he has done. Instead of pushing people away from me and keeping to myself, I will instead embrace and seek out people who are in need.
You see, my grandfather is gripped with feelings of inadequacy and fear of "fucking everything up," or that "everything I touch turns to shit," (his favorite phrase). My grandfather does not know how to interact with people, and he feels that no matter what he does he will irreparably mess up every relationship he has. Unfortunately, as you get older we tend to get stuck in our own thinking patterns and find it hard to accept, or even incorporate new ideas into our daily thoughts and my grandfather is all to much a victim of his own "Stinkin' thinkin'."
Stinkin' Thinkin'
What is "Stinkin' Thinkin'?" It's a processes by which you wallow in your own negative emotions and you allow them to take control of your entire begin. Instead of allowing yourself to move forward in your life, you instead dig yourself into a rut where you rob yourself of the possibilities in life by virtue of you believing that they do not actually exist and that regardless of what you do, your life will remain and continue to be shit.
As I said earlier, I spent a lot of time stuck in this rut of Stinkin' Thinkin' and I realized that it just does not do me any good, so I have gotten rid of it.
The role of Family...
I have spent a considerable amount of energy in an attempt to remind my grandfather that his actions in the past, good or bad, do not actually matter now because we are family, that we accept him unconditionally, and that the only thing we want for him is to get better, and to become more active and present within the family; however he decides to do nothing because he feels it is far better to sit around and wallow in his own negativity than it is to actually embrace the opportunities afford to him by being closer to his family.
It's hard because I really want the best for him, and yet on every front he has dug his heels into the ground and refused to cooperate. Worse off, he does not see the forest for the trees, how much better he could make his life by dropping the negativity and instead embracing a positive outlook.
As a family I think it is important to open and honest with each other, and to accept each other despite our faults and repair broken relationships with unconditional love and patience.
Conclusion
Maybe we've all missed the boat?
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